Leaning In vs Pulling Back

As discussed in the last post, struggle can be categorized into either pain or discomfort. Pain should be discouraged, while discomfort should be embraced… well, most of the time.

If we’re always advancing towards something, we risk missing out on what’s right in front of us. If we live our entire lives in discomfort, we will never be content. And if we advance too far into discomfort, we may end up causing ourselves pain instead.

Before deciding to lean in or pull back from struggle, we should consider whether or not its pursuit will ultimately increase our well-being. We need to determine whether pursuing an action that induces discomfort will lead to liberation or pain.

A fear of public speaking can be overcome. It may be extremely uncomfortable at first, but with time, will only lead to liberation. This is an example of discomfort that should be leaned into. Fear of uprooting deep-seated trauma, however, may exist for a good reason. Uncovering this without the proper resources could be an endless, painful journey. Discomforts like these should be pulled back from until conditions are appropriate to lean in.

Struggle is a complex state that warrants various reactions according to its form, the individual feeling it, and the moment it’s received. Ultimately, however, we have two choices: we can pull back, or we can lean in. Only you can decide.

Perfect decisions aren't possible, but with this framework – recognizing struggle, identifying its form, distinguishing between pain and discomfort, and choosing when to lean in or pull back – we can navigate our challenges more skillfully.